I cried through my practice tonight because sometimes the Universe gives you exactly what you need. Other times it pushes you down and repeatedly kicks you in the teeth (which usually is exactly what you need but that's another post). These tears were the result of the latter. The teeth kicking one. That cute Ski Bum boy dumped me (again). Three months ago I probably would have used this time honored tradition of getting over the heart break...
*Ummm so somehow the conversion process cut my head off? Sorry using new software!
But now that I eat green things, do enemas, and meditate on a regular basis, I'm not too keen on wrecking my body and mind just because my heart is a little tender. Crap food and copious amounts of alcohol aren't your friends after all. They mostly just make you feel fat and bloated and give you zits. And how will you ever find another mate when you look like that? I kid.
But really, how do you deal with heart smashing in a mindful way that doesn't add to your waistline or make you question your self esteem?
Well first, you put down the ice cream, step away from the wine and go outside. Seriously. Move your body. Dance. Hoop. Stretch. Run. You need to burn off the bad juju not swallow it. Plus, it's a proven fact that exercise releases endorphins and happy people don't kill people (no matter how much they may want to) nor do they wallow around feeling sorry for themselves. So scoot!
Now that you've burned off the ick and have a clearer mind, sit with how you feel. Really. Tune in. Are you angry? Hurt? Sad? Disappointed? Do you feel stupid for believing every word that jerk said? Do you regret funneling so much time and energy into what you thought was an awesome relationship? Then great you aren't a cyborg. You do have a heart. And how cool is that? Because once you get over this little disaster you can give that heart of yours to someone else. Just make sure the next person is worthy before you go planing your children's names and ordering his and hers monogramed bath towels.
Once you determine exactly what it is that makes you want to ram sharp things into people's eyes or use up a box of tissues wiping teary Alice Cooperesque mascara off your face, you can then do something about it. Cry. But don't wallow. Scream. But don't hit. Really go for it. Whatever will allow you to fully experience your feelings is fair game, as long as no children or animals are harmed during your expression. My new favorite thing (thanks to a kick ass girlfriend)? Buying cheap shit from the dollar store and smashing it. There's a certain something about bashing in the head of a ceramic cat that really allows me to let go and surrender.
And that's really what healing your heart is about. So it didn't workout. Chances are this isn't the first time that's happened. You've just forgotten. You've become so wrapped up in the what ifs, and buts, and I don't understands, and the this sucks you can't remember you're going to be ok. In fact, you're going to be more than ok. Especially if you don't reach for the sugar and pity sex.
So quit reading this, go draw yourself a bath, talk to people who love you, and remember, you're a hell of a catch, he/she probably didn't deserve you anyway.
Plus, "when the wrong train is in the station how can the right one pull in?" (That's what he said? Bada ching! That's for you Jenny!)
Love you so much!
Sara
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