Two Steps Forward, Two Steps Back

In yoga we call that pulse Spanda.  Other people call it crazy.  Whatever name you give it, it's that ever constant push and pull.  The contraction and revelation.  The dance between things that's always happening.  It's only crazy when you pulse between serial killer and giggling hyena.  Otherwise, I think a little sometimes you feel like a nut sometimes you don't is only natural.

No one is happy alllll the time.  Ok, well maybe there is one person, I went to high school with her and my god her always sunny mood was obnoxious.  I'd never actually wish ill on someone, but in her case a little catastrophe might be in order.  The same thing can be said for being sad all the time.  It just ain't right.  Always existing in one state is stasis.  Death.  Living?  Growing?  They require movement.  But I digress, Internet.

The point is-sometimes you cry on your mat.  Other times, you do cart wheels you're so mind blowingly happy.  Such is the nature of life.  Of spanda.

The problem is we often forget about this pulsation.  This dance.  So that when we're down, we forget that we'll be up again.  That the universe is abundant and will provide a reason to smile so hard it hurts. Instead we waste a lot of time crying in inappropriate places, or day dreaming about how we'll never love again and other melodramatic probably never going to actually happen things.

Then the universe does what it does.  It pulses and you suddenly remember you have about five billion things to be joyful about.  One of which is realizing that when you set pure intentions and get out of your own way Grace does a hell of a job giving you exactly what you need.

For me that has been community and connection.  Phone calls.  Emails.  Facebook messages.  New friends.  Visits with old friends.  And I didn't even have to makeout with a single one of them to get their attention.

I know this heart blasting, jump up and down joy will fade.  It's what happens.  But the more I practice this dance the easier it gets.  The quicker the steps.  So that when I'm down it doesn't take a full song to set me right.  Just a quick turn step and I'm floating again.

Thanks to everyone who has connected with me these past few days.  You guys are amazing.  And I'm so stupid, crazy blessed to have each of you in my life.

I love you so much!

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