I Can Do Anything and I Have the Bruises to Prove It

Dear Internet,

Hi my name is Sara and I was the fat, dorky, uncoordinated girl in school.  I could beat you at reading with both arms tied behind my back.  Throw a ball at me and I'd duck then draw you a picture of it.  PE class and later the dreaded mandatory gym class just weren't my forte.  And forget team sports.

Although my parents did try.  Being the only child of two super athletes who desperately wanted a child that would follow in their footsteps, I was forced to suffer through one season of most everything they could think of.  It was never pretty and usually ended with me crying at some point.  I just wasn't good.  I'll read, draw pictures, and quietly entertain myself inside where it's cool and I won't fall down thank you very much.  You go hit things, and kick things, and dribble.

This not being good enough is something I've carried around with me most of my life.  Hiking?  Climbing?  Running?  Biking?  I can't do any of those things.  I'm not athletic.   I'm the fat, dorky, uncoordinated girl remember.

So when Ski Bum Brian (that's for you Dara) suggested a long hike to a cave and then spelunking, I immediately flashed back to sixth grade when Chrissy and I ended up face down on the basketball court while the whole school looked on in amazement.  The ball, as well as everyone else, was on the opposite end of the court and we were on the same team.

However, one of my intentions this year is to grow and change and push myself and blah blah blah.  So, I reluctantly agreed after giving him a whole litany of reasons why I was going to suck and making him promise not to laugh at me.  

I must add that Brian burns more calories in one day than I do in a whole week.  The man rides his bike everywhere and is super fit.  I get winded just walking around town.  The prospect of hiking up tall things with him was mildly embarrassing because by comparison I seem like someone who only eats McDonald's and smokes a pack a day.

But he promised I wouldn't die AND that he wouldn't laugh.  At that point I really had no choice but to lace up my shoes and go.  Were parts of it hard?  Yes.  Did I have to stop multiple times because I couldn't breathe and I felt like my legs were going to burst into flames? Yes.

But by god I did it.  I hiked to the top of something really high and then crawled around in a cave.  A tiny, dark, cold cave.  I, the fat, dorky, uncoordinated girl managed to do something athletic and I didn't even fall down once.

The word exhilarating is a staggering understatement.  I finally understood why people kiss trophies and dump Gatorade on their coaches.  Because this body did something I thought it couldn't do.  By sheer willpower and the grace of god I won.  I overcame a challenge.  And that my friends has to be one of the best feelings in the world.

Tomorrow I conquer team sports.  Ok, maybe not.  But that thick I'm not good at sports cloak has been slightly pulled back and what was revealed was enough to make me schedule another long hike and a lone bike ride around town.  Take that fat, dorky, uncoordinated girl!

Thanks for loving me even though I suck at sports.
Miss you all,

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