Cleanse Day 4: Intentions

I guess technically it's day 5 considering it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm wide awake. So far I've had nothing but raw pureed food. Or as Ski Bum Brian calls it, Injured Hockey Player fare. Green smoothies, vegetable soups, miso broths. No wheat, dairy, meat, or refined sugar since this past Saturday. And I feel great-ish...

I have a very strong desire to pull in. To unplug. Talk less, interact less, be less connected. But that's not possible right now considering both jobs I have require me to have at least five internet windows open at once. Which is rather frustrating and tiring. And caused a couple of melt downs I won't lie. But other than that I'm pretty on track with my intentions for this cleanse.

On Sunday Cate asked us to think about what we want from this detox in four different ways: physically, mentally, emotionally/relationally, and spiritually. Here's what I came up with, you know since I have intentions for most everything these days.

Physically
Regulate my weight. I could stand to shed oh about 20lbs.
Get rid of my acne. Since stopping my birth control my face has decided to freak out. Hopefully, all the green juice will fix that.

Mentally
Develop clarity, focus, and discipline. So much of the time my mind overrides my better senses and I crumble. I reach for the cookies, the piece of bread. I want stick-to-it-ness.


Emotionally/Relationally
Let go of the fear, self doubt, and negative talk that keeps me in patterns that don't serve me. Let food be thy medicine instead of thy emotional crutch.

Be inspiring and supportive to others. Hopefully by practicing what I preach, I can get others to join me on the Green Revolution train. I've already seen this happen somewhat at my old studio thanks to my wonderful teacher Stacey and all the dedicated and brave students who decided to see for themselves what all the hype was about. You guys rock by the way!


Spiritually
Be in the flow of Grace. Be connected. Open. And faithful.

True to Sara fashion what all that boils down to is having the guts to be disciplined. Being strong enough in my core to stand in my light no matter what. Which if you know me, or have been following along on my journey so far, know this seems to be the overarching theme for this whole year. Maybe my next tattoo should be "discipline" written in big letters on my forehead. Or maybe I'll learn the lesson over the next 9 months!  One can hope, right?

What are your intentions? How is your cleanse going?

Love you! Miss you!
Sara

Tongue Scraping 101

One of the parts of my morning cleanse routine...

Cleanse Day 1: Making Room

Yogidetox is in full force around here.  And I plan on checking in here every day and logging my progress.  It helps keep me honest when I have to tell you guys about it!

First step...cleaning out...

2+2 Could Equal 5

I grew up with one fairly overachieving, perfectionist parent. And the other one beat into me that I was to make straight A's so much I'd have a panic attack when my test score said 99 instead of 100. So, being attached to the outcome, the fruits of my labor if you will, is something that has been ingrained into my very being.

A+B=C, and you better darn well care about C because C could get you 6 weeks worth of no telephone (can you tell I'm still traumatized? I love you dad!). However, most religious and spiritual practices teach you not to be so concerned with the results. With stuff. With attachment. To be in the world not of the world.

And yes sometimes being concerned with how things turn out is necessary. I'm not at all advocating that we just go around doing what we want without thinking about the consequences. That's chaos and anarchy and how people get shot. But what I am saying is we shouldn't be so worried about it. It shouldn't consume us. Or prevent us from doing what is right and necessary.

I know for me, at least, I can be so wrapped up in the long term thinking. The results of what may or may not happen if I do or don't do something I miss the moment. I let it affect me in such a way that I'm not doing what I should. Not opening myself to possibility because my mind's already worked out what it thinks C is going to be.

Several things have happened in my personal life recently that have forced me to let go of the what ifs. What if I let you into my life again and you break my heart? What if I say this and you don't like it? What if I spend all this time with you and we don't get married and have 2.5 children and a white picket fence and a dog?

What if I over analyze this situation so much I miss a great opportunity? What if in my desperate need to control I guide my life instead of letting Grace?

A+B doesn't always equal the C you think it will. So stop your worrying and just do it already. And if you get 6 weeks worth of detention who cares? You'll survive. I did (although just barely).

So much love,
Sara

Month One Review

So Internet, I've been here for a month.  There's a part of me that panics about that, because my gosh the year is going to be over waaay too soon and I'm currently so incredibly happy with my living arrangements I don't ever want to leave.  But what's all that yoga stuff about staying in the present?

I would say that I've accomplished a lot in this one month but I'm not sure it's stuff I should admit to...like meeting a cute boy.  Being dumped by said cute boy.  Knowing the names of the bartenders at the two cool places to drink in town.  Staying out too late.  Having an incredibly full social calendar.  Talking waaay too much.  Reconnecting with a friend in a totally unexpected way.  The list goes on and on.  I feel like Sara circa her college days-way too bright, bubbly, and intoxicating intoxicated.  

But then there's all the hiking, biking, yogaing, eating raw, siting in mediation for 45 minutes, and working I've been doing.  It all balances out in the end, right?

Although, I do feel the need to have some concrete goals for each month.  Things that I'm working towards.  That I'm making the effort to practice every month.  So, the 30 day challenge was born.  Which I must admit was inspired by a friend's facebook post (Hi Jason!).

The idea is to commit to practicing something every day for 30 days.  Sometimes I think we (or at least I do) have lofty, ambitious, broad goals.  This often hinders me from achieving them because, how exactly do I tweak my eating habits?  It's just too big.  Too overwhelming.  So I go the Wolf and have a beer and eat pizza because that's much, much easier.

Which so is not my goal.  And then before I know it the year is over and I've crossed nothing off my list.  And those of you who know me well know how pissed my Valedictorian of Everything will be about that.

So, I'm taking my intention list and breaking it down to small digestible chunks.  Things I can do every day each month that will get me where I wanna go in the end.

My first 30 day challenge is strengthening my core.  I need this for so many reasons, not just to kick up into handstand on my own.  But to tell people no.  To stand firm in what it is I truly want to accomplish this year.

So I bought a hula hoop.  That's right a hula hoop.  It's a great ab workout and fun.  And a metaphor my beloved friend B and I have been using for years to describe perfect personal boundaries (plus there's a girl here in town that makes hula hoops and you know how much my hippie heart loves local handmade goods).

A hula hoop has boundaries.  You can spin your hula hoop around and keep people at bay.  Or you can drop it and let people into it with you.  But it's kinda a small intimate space.  Not just anybody or everybody needs to be up in your hula hoop.  And it's work to keep it going.  You have to pay attention to your hula hoop or before you know it it's on the ground.  Just like how you have to be mindful of who you spend your time with and what it is you're doing in that time.

So for the next 30 days I will be hula hooping for at least 15 minutes every day.  What can you commit to practicing for the next 30 days?  Leave it in the comments here or on my facebook page and we can all support each other as we move closer towards achieving our ultimate goals!

Love you all so much!
Sara

The Journey

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice--

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do--

determined to save

the only life you could save.

-Mary Oliver

You Are What You Eat

I got into this whole mess because I did a cleanse with Cate back in May.  A cleanse that so completely shifted my awareness that I couldn't help but pack up my car and drive West.

Among my intentions, if you remember, is to tweak how I eat.  Because like Hippocrates said, I too, believe that food is medicine.  That you are what you eat.  And if you look around at what the typical American eats we're fat, processed, pieces of non nutrient garbage.  No wonder we have all the health problems that we do.  But that's a soapbox for another time.  A soapbox many a people have stood on and waxed far more poetically than I ever could like...

Food, Inc
Forks Over Knives
Mark Bittman
Dan Buettner

But all you need to know (for now) is that more green, more raw, more seasonal is my aim.  So, off to the woods I trekked with my fearless leader and her adorable sidekick (who just may be the greatest part of my job).



The fruits of my labor were a whole sack full of yummy, living, green things.

Which I promptly threw into my blender with a handful of other things I had around...



The best part?  It was totally free!

What are you eating?  And how are you feeling?

XO,
Sara