"There's this screen in the plane that has all these little blips on it. Each representing another airplane and where it is in space. There are numbers and arrows that tell you each plane's altitude and whether it's ascending or descending. When I first started flying I was so concerned with getting the plane safely on the ground I rarely paid attention to those blips and arrows. It was too much to try to manage on top of everything else I had to do. Now that I have more experience though I easily read the screen and see everything that's around me."
His words made me think of my own blips and everything I have on my screen.
I've been so focused on my yogic journey this past (almost) year I've ignored other things. For instance it's been a year since I've sat with a client. Or made art. Or talked to some of my friends. Or really looked at my life list. And that's not ok.
It makes me think about Eat, Pray, Love. And how there's a reason why Bali is the last chapter in Elizabeth Gilbert's famous book. Because you can't just hide out in an ashram forever. You have to come back to your real life. You have to mind the blips, land the plane, disembark, and get on with the process of enjoying your life. Otherwise, why did you waste all that time and energy getting yourself where you are?
And while some people are called to shave their heads and spend their days tying themselves in knots, it's not authentic for me to keep flying around in my yoga machine shutting out the rest of my life. The path of a renunciate's is not mine. While I was learning. While I was gaining strength and testing the controls I needed that focus. That one pointed pursuit. That seven days a week public practice and kicking into handstand as if my life depended on it. And I'll still need that at times.
But I also need to widen my gaze. To tend to other blips. Because those other things are just as much a part of me as full lotus is. They're what give me my Sara-ness. And what I'm called to do in this life-what we are all called to do-is to use all the gifts God has given us not just the ones that allow us to balance on our heads.
Not to mention if you ignore parts of yourself for long enough they have a way of jumping right out in front of you and smacking you in the face. Saying, "Here remember me?" And since I'm tired of beating myself black and blue, I think I'll start paying attention to the whole screen instead of just this one tiny blip. Least I find myself in a pile on the bathroom floor again, for the millionth time (which yes I know will continue to happen-I'd just like it to happen a little less frequently thank you very much).
What that means at this point I'm not sure. There's still a giant question mark looming on that part of the screen. But things have started to come on line in a very big way. To blink. To demand my attention.
And they're things I can no longer ignore. I have to proceed to the highlighted route. Decisions have to be made. Ground control is demanding I start my descent (even though I'm not exactly sure where it is I'm going to land).
So this next little while is going to be bumpy. And I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able or willing to share. It's hard enough to fly the plane without having to talk about how I'm doing it much less while giving detailed accounts.
So I apologize in advance if it gets quiet over here but it's about to get real up in here. The pilot has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. The tray tables are locked, the seats in their upright position, and the jets kicked into full gear.
I'll keep you posted as much as I can.
Please know that I'm eternally grateful for the connection and love I've found through this site. You guys have been amazing support for me as I've embarked on this epic flight. I apologize if I haven't always responded as well as I could have. I hope that changes in the future as I learn how to manage all my blips.
For now I'm gripping the controls, trusting the process, and getting this plane on the ground as safely as I can.
Keep your fingers crossed that I don't crash land. ;)
So much love and thanks,
Sara
Ok so this is about take off but whatever you get the idea...
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