I Feel It All

"She said she usually cried at least once each day not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful & life was so short."

"You got this, girl.  Read a good book, take a bath, celebrate you."

A felt a small lump rise up in my throat as I read her words.  Read a good book-Ok, I can do that.  Take a bath-Got that one covered too.  But celebrate you?

What's there to celebrate?

I'm an almost 30 year old very single, very broke girl who does not use her degree on a regular basis and who lives in the back of a yoga studio.  Not really much to pop champagne and tap dance about there.

I had a similar feeling last week when the facilitator of a meeting I was at asked the group to give ourselves a round of applause for all the things the organization had accomplished that year.  Restrained claps went out around the room as we all stared at our shoes.

My resistance in each case made me realize just how awful we are at celebrating ourselves.  

How we're taught not to see how well we did.  But how poorly we failed.  We get tests back marked with how many we got wrong (not how many we answered right).  Our bosses pull us in to chat about a botched task (not to thank us for all the things we do well).  Commercials tell us we're not pretty enough, smart enough, good enough until...(not that we're perfect just they way we are).

There are no gift registries for not marrying that jerk.  No parties for deciding to be childless.  Or landing an awesome job.  No way we mark accomplishments like getting out of bed when it's hard, or making tough decisions, or staying true to who we are.

And if you dare give yourself a pat on the back people whisper about your ego.  How full of yourself you are.

But I'm tired of that.  Because everyday we all do extraordinary things.  Things we should be congratulated for.

Because life is hard and sticking with it.  Embracing it.  Opening our arms wide to it over and over and over again when it kicks us in the teeth is the bravest thing any of us could do.

So she's right.  I'm celebrating myself.  Because I'm a 29 year old free from constraints, the world is my oyster girl who's not afraid to haul off and do something seemingly crazy because she got a "go for it" feeling in her gut.

Who thankfully hasn't married the wrong guy.  Who's smart, and charming, and funny.  Who has a whole gaggle of people who love her and believe in her and support her.  Who laughs most every time she falls down (especially when skiing left).  Who tries and tries and tries some more and doesn't give up.  Who's interesting and passionate and at times a little wild.  Who's done fun things and made people smile.  Who can see the thread of good in all things.  Who gets up in the mornings even when it's hard.  Who isn't afraid to cry and be honest and tell people how she feels.  Who isn't always perfect but who's willing to learn from her mistakes.  Who's open and loving and alive and willing to experience it all.

And that my friends is definitely worth celebrating.  Because it is rich.  And wonderful.  And crappy.  And fantastic.  And sad.  And a million other things.

And if we can't have champagne and tap dance about that than what can we?

Because the world really is beautiful (even when it's not) and life really is short (even when it feels long).  And we are all alive.  And here.

How cool is that?

So pop the champagne.  Put on your dancing shoes.  And celebrate.

I am.

I hope you will too.


I would like to point out that I have the exact same outfit she's wearing in this video.  Even down to the boots.

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