What It Means to be a Real Woman

"The quickest way to emasculate a man is to tell him what to do."

I felt like calling all my ex-boyfriends and apologizing.  Because as the former Valedictorian of Everything I've told most all the men I've dated they're doing it wrong, offered very pointed do it this way suggestions, taken over, and not respected their thoughts.  Whether that be from what we were having for dinner tonight to stop it I'll just fix the stove because I can do it better.

Which now, after three days of Mastin Kipp's Love Uni-versity: Love and Relationship Bootcamp, I realize is horribly unattractive and totally disrespectful and not at all going to land me my Prince (a word that sort of makes me throw up in my mouth a little but one Mastin uses to describe the sort of man one should pursue-as a opposed to a knight who's off having adventures and slaying dragons and shacking up with fair maidens and not at all interested in building a kingdom with you).

So to all the men I've told to drive a different direction, or take me to another restaurant, or no stop-do it this way, or most recently for the love of god get over yourself and just talk to me already Brian White, I am humbly and most apologetically sorry.  I've been terrible.  I've not presented you with the opportunity to show up in your own way.  I've demanded you do it on my terms.  I've been hard and focused and driven.  In other words-I've been a total dick (and yes I just wrote the word dick on a blog my family reads.  It will be fine just breathe. Also sorry family!).  And while that may be my job in my professional life, it's not in my personal and I'm sorry I've done that to you.

What I should have done is be a vagina (something a dear teacher once recommended to a good friend which totally made me giggle).  Because be more like a vagina?  WTF?

But I get it now.  As a woman I'm made to be soft, open, receptive, watery, flowing in my relationships.  I'm called to, "respect my chosen man and his thoughts, suggestions, ideas, and plans EVEN WHEN I know I'm smarter and can do it better."

Yeah read that again.  EVEN WHEN I know I'm smarter and can do it better.  Talk about punching my inner Valedictorian right in the gut.  Are you crazy?  Even when I know I can do it better?

But I've come to realize that's what it takes to make relationships work.  Both parties can't be hard and driven.  Someone's gotta bite their tongue every once in awhile.

And when you can do that.  When you can present the problem but not the solution.  When you can remain open and let a man show up in his own way and time without telling him exactly how, when, where, and why he should fix the sink that particular way you'll get a partner who can, "cherish his chosen women's feelings even when she's being irrational, irritating, and totally illogical."

Which let's face it happens a lot, at least around here.

So I think the trade off's worth it.  And I'm adding it to my list.  Practicing being open not directive.  Because does it really matter which road we take to get there in the end?

No.  It just matters that I accept whatever shows up, whenever it does, in its own way.  Because that's my job as a real, powerful woman.

And it's also what I want done for me.  To be loved just the way I am.

XO,
Sara

Of course the day after that course started this was on Elephant Journal because you know God likes to beat me over the head with the lessons I'm supposed to learn...

A Call to the Divine Feminine: Ten Bold Invitations from the Sacred Masculine