So I finished the find your husband book, flew south for the holidays, and changed my relationship status on Facebook. None of these things are connected (well at least not like that) so don't get any ideas. My ring finger is still empty, my yoga dorm room built for one, and my Mrs. degree incomplete. The only difference? I'm 100% completely and totally satisfied with that.
Back when I was a lowly counseling intern one of my beloved colleagues decided to ask his girlfriend to marry him. Being the inquisitive child that I am I couldn't help but ask, "How did you know she was the one?" A question I've posed to most people I know who are married because I am southern and have previously desperately wanted monogramed towels and a big white dress (ok maybe not the towels but most definitely the dress).
He said, "You know that feeling you get when you go buy a jacket and you try a lot on and none are quite right. Then you put one on that fits. And you can't really explain why. And it may not even be the color or style you were originally looking for but it's the one. It just fits. Well it's like that."
And since I have an insane love affair for odd metaphors I instantly thought this was the most brilliant and not totally throw up in my mouth sappy way to describe "The One."
Which brings me to the book and that whole idea of "The One." There's no One. There are better Ones than others. Jackets that, like he said, fit. That are easier to wear. More versatile. More apt to weather fads. To hang in your closet long after their original purchase date. But ultimately you have to decide. You can't take them all home. You have to pick. To choose either the red one or the blue one.
In the past couple of weeks I've made that decision. Not about my life partner but about my life. It finally just fits. I'm wearing the jacket I'm meant to. I'm living the life I'm supposed to. And that feels better than any ring, any relationship, any One ever could.
And the magical thing about it-when you slip on the life you are meant to wear. The one that feels the best. Looks the best. Is the best. You stop clutching. Stop lusting after other jackets. Stop needing people to tell you how amazing you are. Because you know. Because you realize you are full and complete and whole just as you are. You don't need any One because you are One.
And that my friends is what gets your Facebook status changed. Not a book, not a pretty dress, or the perfect body. No. Being the best. The most authentic you is what does it. What allows you to find that One-whether that be a husband, a dog, a child, or an amazing life in Driggs.
I hope you all know how perfect you are. And how much you deserve a life that fits.
Much love,
Sara
I call this the 'seek what is good and right for you and all the right people will be right there in your path' plan for life. Of course, I would add to be 'seeking God's plan for you' in all this. I think it is a sign of satisfaction with self when you get to this point. You definitely need to love yourself for all of this to happen. So congratulations, Sara! Love you. Frances
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